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Why does my BF act this way?
* I asked this ? here b/c all the people in the Singles/Dating section are 16 or younger.

He asks me to wear sexy skimpy outfits when we go out & lingerie at his place, which I enjoy, I even one dressed as a French maid. He says he likes to "role play" but I don't know how to initiate it. I want to keep him interested (even though we were friends 12 years before becoming lovers) & don't want to think I'm boring in bed. How can I tell him I AM trying & AM aware of his exotic kinky needs? Then when I ask what "Role" he wants to try, we end up making love like a couple does I guess. Can any1 please help me make sense out of this? Thanks

Everyone has different things that just happen to do it for them. I think role-playing might be a pretty popular one, aside from foot fetishes.

If he enjoys role-playing, you don't have to tell him what role you're going to play, or ask him for a specific one. Something that might help is to ask for a list of favorites that you can pick through. To initiate, you just enter the bedroom (or wherever) in that role. You don't have to announce that you're going to role-play.

For instance, maybe one of his favorites is a librarian. So you can get dressed in a cardigan and glasses and have your hair in a bun. Then you can pretend that you're doing it in the library, and you tell him that he has to stay quiet. Or be a teacher, and you're keeping him after class for some sex ed.

Let your imagination run with this, and I'm sure he'll probably enjoy most of it. If anything's not doing it for him, he'll probably let you know.

However, since it isn't really your thing, make sure that he'll continue to be willing to have normal romantic love-making with you so that both of you get your needs fulfilled.

He probably goes to normal sex when you ask because maybe he's still a little unsure of what you think about his fetish. He doesn't want to have to explain bit by bit what needs to happen to get him off -- bad analogy, but it's kinda like explaining a joke. Also, if you're even the slightest bit embarrassed by it, he'll sense it and also be embarrassed. So you should make sure that it's something that you enjoy as well. It's fine to step out of your comfort zone to explore new things, but only stay out there if you like it too.

Whatever the case, it's always good to take the time to communicate about your needs. It'll definitely up the intimacy you have in your relationship, and it'll increase the trust. And I always think it's very fun to discover and learn new things about your partner.

Could you women answer a question for me?
Women: can you help me out...PLEASE?
This is extremely long but please read it. I need some serious help. Just do me a favor and please please please answer me even if you don't know the answer. Even one sentence of experience or opinion is gold.

I am a 19-year old guy who got offered a job at a "high class" :-) sex shop. I haven't accepted it yet, cause I have another, lower-paying job offer. It is very-female friendly and the shop in town a lot of women buy lingerie at and almost all of the exotic dancers buy their stage clothes there.

This is not a fantasy for me. I just need money. I am happily in a stable relationship with a girl I like a lot. When I got it, I figured it will be a normal job that happens to be adult, but a girl I know told me it is not like that at all and sex shops are really wild and crazy places to work at. She said she knew two younger people who have worked at sex shops, and they both ended up becoming very promiscuous and...well...kinky. Her guy friend would get get hit on really hard by the strippers, bored housewives and swinger couples, and some women (especially 30-40s women) would just downright ask if he wanted to hook up sometime.

She said within a few months to a year they both were completely different, and ended up leading promiscuous and wild lifestyles. And the girl who told me this is not a prudish person. She is actually extremely open-minded and matter-of-factual. I have no reason to believe she was either being biased or embellishing: she actually was talking like she thought I would like hearing it. But the whole idea of that happening kind of bothers me. Some would think that is awesome, but I am not that guy.

I have heard stories about people getting involved in sexually-based business and being kind of drawn in to its hedonistic ways. And although I don't want that to happen, I know it probably would if all of my co-worker friends hang out with those sorts of people. If I'm around it enough I'll just start doing it myself.

So do you think if a guy started working in a sex store that he would all of the sudden become inundated with women hitting on him and stuff like that? I sincerely doubt that would happen, because women hardly ever make the first move, especially for something physical. But I hear otherwise and it is messing with me. I need to know what to get in to, especially because I have a gf I need to not upset.

Anyway... PLEASE help me answer this question. If any of you all have first or second-hand experience that would help a lot, but that's not necessary. But just answer anything you know. Do you know women who would be that brazen? Are exotic dancers in general really that straightforward about their sexuality? Do you know anything about these environments? Do I need to really keep my guard up and not hang out with my friends at work, or do you think they will just end up being normal people?

Personally, (even completely trusting him) I would feel awkward knowing that my bf worked in that type of environment... I know that in general most women are not as bold as men however many would probably feel more easy about hitting on a man working in a sex shop. (Keep in mind that most women would assume that if you worked there as a man, then it is probably b/c you take enjoyment in it or find it a fantasy job; this can make normal to bold women even bolder than one would expect.) I would nearly guarantee that you would have an extremely higher risk of these occurrences

If you are not "wild or promiscuous" I do not think that you would immediately change, however, I sincerely believe that the longer you were exposed to others viewing sex much more casually than you that it would eventually start to effect your views on it. Personally, if I were a guy and had a female friend that I trusted explaining what happened to her friends as you did, I wouldn't want to take the risk.

Women: can you help me out...PLEASE?
This is extremely long but please read it. I need some serious help. Just do me a favor and please please please answer me even if you don't know the answer. Even one sentence of experience or opinion is gold.

I am a 19-year old guy who got offered a job at a "high class" :-) sex shop. I haven't accepted it yet, cause I have another, lower-paying job offer. It is very-female friendly and the shop in town a lot of women buy lingerie at and almost all of the exotic dancers buy their stage clothes there.

This is not a fantasy for me. I just need money. I am single but don't play around. When I got it, I figured it will be a normal job that happens to be adult, but a girl I know told me it is not like that at all and sex shops are really wild and crazy places to work at. She said she knew two younger people who have worked at sex shops, and they both ended up becoming very promiscuous and...well...kinky. Her guy friend would get get hit on really hard by the strippers, bored housewives and swinger couples, and some women (especially 30-40s women) would just downright ask if he wanted to hook up sometime.

She said within a few months to a year they both were completely different, and ended up leading promiscuous and wild lifestyles. And the girl who told me this is not a prudish person. She is actually extremely open-minded and matter-of-factual. I have no reason to believe she was either being biased or embellishing: she actually was talking like she thought I would like hearing it. But the whole idea of that happening kind of bothers me. Some would think that is awesome, but I am not that guy.

I have heard stories about people getting involved in sexually-based business and being kind of drawn in to its hedonistic ways. And although I don't want that to happen, I know it probably would if all of my co-worker friends hang out with those sorts of people. If I'm around it enough I'll just start doing it myself.

So do you think if a guy started working in a sex store that he would all of the sudden become inundated with women hitting on him and stuff like that? Do you know if that environment exists or if that is just a joke? I sincerely doubt that would happen, because women hardly ever make the first move especially for something physical. But I hear otherwise and it is messing with me. I need to know what to get in to before it is too late. I will love this job as long as it isn't insane.

Anyway... PLEASE help me answer this question. If any of you all have first or second-hand experience that would help a lot, but that's not necessary. But just answer anything you know. Do you know women who would be that brazen? Are some exotic dancers or some divorced women really that straightforward about their sexuality? Do you know anything about these environments? Do I need to really keep my guard up and not hang out with my friends at work, or do you think they will just end up being normal people?

If you are not into that kind of kinkiness, i'd suggest you not take that job and wait for something more to your liking and that will not turn you into a freak. And yes, strippers and divorced women are very direct about their sexuality and they are on the prowl, looking for whoever will have sex with them. So if that is going to make u uncomfortable, don't take the job.